Your child didn’t come with an instruction manual, but their personality style comes pretty close. When you understand how they’re wired, you can parent them in a way that meets them where they are.
Here’s what children look like through the lens of the four styles:
The Eagle Child: Driven, Direct, and Determined
Eagles take charge, set their own rules, and hate being told what to do. They want to win, and they want to win now.
🦅 “You’re not the boss of me.”
Tips for parenting an Eagle child:
- Watch for: Frustration when they don’t get their way. Help them channel their intensity into achieving their own goals without steamrolling others.
- Accept that: They’re not being difficult, they’re driven. They need autonomy, not micromanagement. They will test boundaries to discover their power, not disrespect you.
- Suggestion: Offer choices that give them a sense of control. Praise their leadership while helping them practice patience and humility.
The Parrot Child: Playful, Talkative, and Bursting with Energy
Parrot kids are storytellers, entertainers, and social butterflies. They brighten up a room and bring joy and laughter. They will never win the Quiet Game.
🦜 “Watch this!”
Tips for parenting a Parrot child:
- Watch for: Prioritization of play over responsibilities or schoolwork. A trail of unfinished projects. Waiting until the last minute to start projects.
- Accept that: They’re not “too much,” they’re energetic. That energy will serve them in their career. They aren’t being unfocused; they’re inspired by new ideas.
- Suggestion: Encourage their imagination and creativity. Let them express themselves freely, but also help them learn to listen and follow through.
🕊️ The Dove Child: Gentle, Caring, and Conflict-Averse
Dove kids are sensitive, nurturing, and eager to please. They often put others first and may struggle to speak up. They have one close friend who means the world to them.
🕊️ “That hurt my feelings.”
Tips for parenting a Dove child:
- Watch for: Bottled-up emotions. Help them develop confidence by recognizing their quiet strengths and giving them space to express themselves.
- Accept that: They’re not too sensitive, they’re deeply caring. They’re not passive, they’re compassionate peacemakers. Their silence doesn’t mean they’re fine; it may mean they’re overwhelmed.
- Suggestion: Provide reassurance and routine. Let them know their voice matters and model healthy ways to navigate disagreement.
The Owl Child: Careful, Precise, and Rule-Following
They ask deep questions, analyze everything, and want to get it “just right.” They crave structure and clarity. They likely collect items such as stuffed animals or rocks, and they are organized, so don’t move them.
🦉 “Why?”
Tips for parenting an Owl child:
- Watch for: A fear of making mistakes. Encourage excellence over perfection and validate their efforts, not just their outcomes.
- Accept that: They’re not “overly serious, they’re driven by logic. They’re not rigid, they just like what works. Spontaneity stresses them out. They need to know the plan.
- Suggestion: Be specific in your instructions. Answer their questions with an abundance of details.
What’s Your Child?
Watch how they play and interact with others. Do they take charge (Eagle), exude enthusiasm (Parrot), pick up on emotions (Dove), or crave structure and precision (Owl)? Their everyday behaviors hold the clue.
Parenting With Style
The goal isn’t to “label” your child, it’s to love them in the language they understand. Each style brings beautiful strengths, and when we nurture those gifts, our children grow into confident, emotionally intelligent adults who feel seen and supported.
Want to dive deeper into the four styles? Subscribe to the Personality Intelligence Substack for more tips on parenting, relationships, and workplace dynamics. You’ll never look at behavior the same way again.
About the Author:
Merrick Rosenberg is the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality model and author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You. He teaches people how to unlock the power of personality to improve everything from leadership to parenting to personal growth.