One of the most common questions I am asked is, “Does style change over time?”
The idea that personality never changes may be comforting. It gives people something solid to hold onto.
It’s also wrong. Well, for many people, it’s wrong. There is a core to who we are that stays recognizable over time. But the way in which that core expresses itself, such as how strong, rigid, or flexible it is, can shift over time.
Studies led by Brent Roberts, along with work from Daniel Mroczek and Christian Kandler, show that personality traits change across adulthood. Conscientiousness and emotional stability tend to grow. Extraversion fluctuates across life stages and environments.
Simply put: People change.
We can evolve within our style
We often think change means a complete transformation. Using the DISC styles—which I link to Eagles, Parrots, Doves, and Owls—an Eagle turning into a Dove or a Parrot becoming an Owl rarely happens. What actually occurs is more subtle.
An Eagle early in their career often leads with force. Direct, decisive, pushing hard for results. Over time, experience teaches restraint. They still want results, but they learn to moderate their intensity and consider timing. They listen longer and influence rather than overpower.
Parrots start out full of energy and ideas, often talking faster than they listen. Life tends to slow them down. Over time, they learn to focus, listen, and follow through. They don’t lose their spark. They learn how to channel it.
Doves begin by keeping the peace, sometimes at their own expense. As they learn to stand in their power or stand up for their own needs, they start speaking up and protecting the harmony they once sacrificed.
Owls often begin by overanalyzing. They want more data, more certainty, and more time. With experience, they recognize patterns. They move faster and recognize that sometimes good enough is good enough. They don’t stop being precise. They just stop getting stuck in the quest for perfection.
Life draws out different parts of us
A new role at work requires more decisiveness, and suddenly, a Dove begins acting like an Eagle. They exhibit behaviors that initially take energy but soon become instinctive and natural. A high-stakes job encourages an Eagle to slow down and think more like an Owl.
At first, it feels like stretching. Then it becomes familiar. Then it becomes you. Not a new personality, but an expanded one.
We can change consciously
There’s even evidence that change can be intentional. Research led by Nathan Hudson shows that when people set goals to change parts of their personality and act on them consistently, real change happens within weeks or months.
Your personality is your starting point, but it doesn’t have to define who you become. Your choices shape who you are.
About Merrick Rosenberg
Merrick Rosenberg is the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality framework and author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You. As an award-winning speaker and founder of Take Flight Learning, Merrick has helped hundreds of thousands of people unlock the power of personality styles to transform their communication, leadership, and relationships. He’s on a mission to make self-awareness accessible, fun, and unforgettable.
