After teaching martial arts for nearly 30 years, I’ve learned firsthand that the difference between responding and reacting is about a second. That’s what martial arts teach you: an instant in time where you can choose your response.
Enter the observing ego. This is the part of you that can step back and watch your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without getting caught up in them.
That small gap between noticing and acting is where self-awareness lives and forms the core of Personality Intelligence.
Why the Observing Ego Matters in Business
When the observing ego is strong, you can say, “I’m angry, but I don’t have to act on it.”
When the observing ego is weak, people tend to get entangled in their emotions and stories, making it harder to shift perspective or break habits.
A strong observing ego helps you:
- Catch yourself before a habit derails a conversation
- Shift your tone or pace in the middle of a meeting
- See situations from multiple angles instead of reacting from one viewpoint
- Turn past mistakes into better future decisions
Where Personality Intelligence Fits In
Personality Intelligence is understanding one’s natural behavioral style, recognizing others’ styles, and adapting with intention. It’s how leaders build trust, reduce friction, and inspire performance.
With a strong observing ego, you can make intentional choices about which style is right for the moment. Without that built-in observer, you can’t catch yourself in real time or make conscious behavior choices.
The Styles in Action
In the Personality Intelligence model, there are four primary styles, each represented by a bird:
- 🦅 Eagle – Bold, decisive, driven by results
- 🦜 Parrot – Energetic, optimistic, thrives on positive energy
- 🕊 Dove – Supportive, steady, values harmony
- 🦉 Owl – Logical, detail-focused, committed to accuracy
Your observing ego helps you recognize your style, how it benefits you, and how it doesn’t. It enables you to see what others need in the moment and gives you that brief second to change your reaction into a response right during the process.
Here’s how it plays out by style:
- If you’re an Eagle, your observing ego might catch you pushing too hard and signal that it’s time to slow down.
- As a Parrot, it might alert you when enthusiasm overshadows the facts.
- For a Dove, it could flag that you’re avoiding a necessary confrontation.
- As an Owl, it might point out that you’re overanalyzing instead of moving forward.
From Autopilot to Intentional Leadership
Leaders who develop a strong observing ego don’t merely have Personality Intelligence; they use it in the moments that matter most.
About Merrick Rosenberg
Merrick Rosenberg is the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality framework and author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You. As an award-winning speaker and founder of Take Flight Learning, Merrick has helped hundreds of thousands of people unlock the power of personality styles to transform their communication, leadership, and relationships. He’s on a mission to make self-awareness accessible, fun, and unforgettable.
