It’s a natural instinct to want our children to succeed, be happy, and thrive. But all too often, that desire quietly turns into an unconscious effort to mold them in our own image. However, when we attempt to mold our children into mini-me’s, we may inadvertently erode their confidence and self-worth.
This is where Personality Intelligence comes into play.
At the core of Personality Intelligence is the desire to evolve into the best version of ourselves, not by changing who we are, but by fully embracing and maximizing our natural strengths. It’s about recognizing our style, understanding its impact, and learning to express it with intention and balance. Growth begins not with trying to be someone else, but with mastering who we already are.
As parents, we need to honor the natural strengths of our children, rather than recreate them.
Parenting with style
Let’s say you’re an Eagle parent, driven, decisive, and goal-oriented. You see the world through the lens of achievement and winning. But your child is a Dove, gentle, patient, and deeply empathetic.
You might see their sensitivity as a weakness or their caution as hesitation. So, you push. “Be more assertive!” “Speak up!” “Don’t be so sensitive!”
But what your child hears is:
“You’re not good enough the way you are.” Or “I’d love you more if you were more like me.”
This can create a child who grows up second-guessing their instincts, questioning their worth, and believing that who they are at their core isn’t quite acceptable.
Consider a Parrot parent who’s full of energy and optimism, raising an Owl child who is logical, precise, and orderly. The parent may grow impatient with their child’s need for structure, seeing it as rigidity. They may unknowingly minimize the Owl’s strengths by dismissing their desire to plan or analyze. “Stop overthinking!” “Just go with the flow!” The message is perceived as “You’re not okay the way you are.”
Imagine what that does to a child’s self-esteem.
Honor their style
When we embrace our children’s personality style, we’re building their resilience, strengthening their self-confidence, and helping them grow into the most authentic version of themselves.
Ask yourself:
- How can I adapt my parenting to meet them where they are?
- What strengths are emerging in their personality, and how can I nurture them?
- Am I parenting based on their needs or my preferences?
The more we learn about the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl styles, the better we can parent with intention, compassion, and clarity.
About Merrick Rosenberg
Merrick Rosenberg is the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality framework and author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You. As an award-winning speaker and founder of Take Flight Learning, Merrick has helped hundreds of thousands of people unlock the power of personality styles to transform their communication, leadership, and relationships. He’s on a mission to make self-awareness accessible, fun, and unforgettable.
